The Points Don't Matter, Just Like...

  • "your resume if you've got a face tattoo."


  • Scenes from a Hat
    • Nicknames your partner doesn't want to be called
    • Things you instantly regret
    • Things you can say on a golf course, but not in bed
  • Secret
    • Scene: Tom and Susie are holiday lovers saying goodbye on the last day of summer.
    • Secret: A flamingo costume
  • Weird Newsreaders
    • Cal - Host
    • Susie - Co-host: Cal's mother, trying to set her up with a nice husband
    • Steen (and Steve from the audience) - Sports: Prisoner tunneling out of Alcatraz
    • Tom - Weather: Satan auditioning for a talent show
  • Props
    • Cal and Susie, Tom and Steen
  • Dubbing
    • Tom provides the voice for Steen.
    • Scene: Steen and Cal are famous lion-tamers who've fallen on hard times. Susie enters to repossess the lions.


  • Tom Walker

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